Tuesday, October 10, 2006

We've Got to be Clean.

So i went to JMU this "weekend" to see Guster. The concert was fantastic, as was the company. Jessy met me down/up there (depending on where you come from), and we met up at Chelsea's place. The morning after the show, I went downstairs to take a shower and once i got in the bathroom and saw the shower, i realized something that i had never thought about before... even though i had experienced it many times... i finally realized that everybody hates everyone else's shower.

It's funny... cause whenever i stay somewhere other than one of my 2 (formerly 3) residences, the shower always SUCKED. Even if it's a hotel, it is usually pretty miserable in those showers... I have a list of things why any shower could or couldn't be up to par:

-Lighting: This is make or break for me. I am pretty blind without my glasses, so i want a lot of light in my shower to make up for that. Plus, who wants to shower in a dungeon? I like a lot of light.

-Curtain: This can play a large factor in the lightness of the shower, but more importantly, if the curtain is stubborn and won't cover that little opening between the edge of the curtain and the wall, then you get water all over the floor, and that's no fun.

-Water Control: I swear, some showers just make me feel retarded. I couldn't turn on Chelsea's from doing that whole "leaning in and turning on the water so i don't burn/freeze myself" manouver. So i had to derobe and mess with this control hoping i wouldn't burn myself by turning on only the hot water. Some showers have a little ball thingy that controls the water... some you have to pull out towards you to turn on the water, and the twist determines temperature. Sometimes you have to push the ball vertically to turn on the water, and pushing from side to side changes temp. Sometimes you just turn it counterclockwise and that's your on/off AND temperature (this is a popular one). The one in manassas has a brilliant mechanism for water control... there's a lever for turning the water on and off, and a separate lever for temperature, so that if you're the only one who showers in there, you can leave the temperature the same for every shower you take... (and its funny cause during the summer, it's usually just below the 50% mark, and during the winter, i usually have it just below full-on hot.)

-Bathtub/Shower Part 1: I am all encompasingly ok with bathtub/showers, but it does bring up a level of insecurity when turning on the water (once you figure out how to). When you turn on the water, is it going to come out of the showerhead, or the bathtub water faucet? Cause most showertubs have the automatic switch to the bath filler once you cut out the water to the showerhead. But i have come across some showers that it just stays on shower all the time. Most showertubs have that little thing you pull on the top of the faucet to turn it from bathtub to shower, but not all... and when people find a shower that doesn't have that, they usually can't find it... i.e. the shower in manassas. There is no lever... you actually pull down right where the water comes out of tub filler... kinda confusing if you don't know about it. I remember the shower in Cesaer's Palace in Vegas... i actually had to ask my mom how to turn it from bath into shower... and i really tried just about everything to get it to work. I usually pride myself in being able to figure out how things work if i look at it/play with it enough, but this shower got the best of me.

-Showertub Part 2: I could easily call this category "Drainage" but i only seem to have problems with drainage with showertubs. Figuring out whether the tub will drain or not becomes a confusing thing too.. cause i remember at mawmaw's house, the showertub upstairs has a little lever thingy to change from drain to plug... and it was always impossible to get it to work. There's also the ones where you push down and forward to "lock" it into place if you need to fill the tub (collegiate suites). There's also the twisty/lifty. This one seems to be the most popular type of water-stopper nowadays.

-Stream: This one is probably has the widest range of opinions as to how people like their showers. I grew up in a basically low-flow shower, but had a lotta water to compensate for the lack of power. So when i come across a shower that could double as a fire hose, i'm not going to have fun... that stuff freaking stings... this is a shitty shower to get with the "twist for on/off and temp" water control cause if you want less stream, you have to make the shower colder... and that's never a good thing. And there's always those showerheads with the multiple settings... "massage settings".... otherwise known as a female's best friend (if you know what i mean). Does anyone ever use anything other than the straight stream for when they shower? cause i've tried the other settings, and they all seem annoying to me. While we're on the topic of showerheads... how about these showerheads that you can take off the stand and move around. I had one of those, and i only ever took it down when i cleaned the shower (which it was very very helpful for) but for showering purposes, i never had to take it down off the stand...

-Temperature Control: And by this i mean sensitivity to making the water hot or cold... if you sneeze and it gets hotter or colder in the shower, that's too sensitive... if you twist it 4 times around, and nothing happens, then it's not sensitive enough... It's gotta be sensitive enough to change when i move it, but not super-sensitive where i can't hit my temperature mark.

-Cleanliness: this one only goes for the showers in college apartments whose place i stay at. I've seen some really really nasty showers where i felt like i was going to leave the shower dirtier than when i entered... and funny enough, it was usually an apartment with all guys... can't be a coincidence. (For your information, i had my own shower and i think i kept it fairly clean.... well clean enough for me, but i ALWAYS cleaned it before company came, so anyone who showered in there was in there in a freshly cleaned shower).

-Bathroom Rugs: I need good floor coverage in bathrooms with showers... I can't be stepping on cold or wet tiles. This is just a comfort thing. The more carpet coverage in the bathroom, the happier i am when i get in/out of the shower.

-Towel Situation: I know that at the LP, i am using the highest quality towels, cause Tom is a towel Nazi. I remember him buying 3 towels of his own so he could have his special towels when we still lived in manassas. And these towels ruled... think beach towel size, but bath towel softness/absorption. And i know how it is about giving friends towels for your shower... cause i know i gave some people my least favorite towels so i didn't have to use them that wash cycle(yeah i know, i'm a dick... leave me alone, but you do it too so shut it).

Ok now that we've gone through the list, i'd like to point out some of the things that i do that make my shower experience enjoyable to me... even though some of them might seem a little wierd to you folks, but i don't care... it's my shower experience.
-Big soft towel: I pointed this out in the "Towel Situation," you should have seen this one coming.
-CD player/mp3 player: YES. i love setting up my ipod so that it's outside the door (to avoid steam damage) but have the speakers in there, so i can sing along to whatever kind of playlist i feel like. Maroon 5 is good shower music for me, cause it's a little high for my range, but you can attempt notes in the shower that you don't normally, cause let's face it folks... there aren't 40 people in your bathroom while you're showering (unless you're on a football team, or in prison). But music is great when you can take your time and relax in the shower... otherwise, its a lot of work getting it all set up.
-No Fan: Some people like showering with the fan on to keep the mirrors from fogging up... i say screw that... if you keep the fan off, it becomes like a sauna in there... which makes easier to get out cause it's not gonna be cold when you get out. i hate those showers where the fan turns on when you turn on the fan... it's annoying.
-Mirror: I like having one of those small mirrors inside the shower so i can shave mid shower... It's just a whole lot easier to shave mid-shower, as opposed to out in the sink. Plus, when my hair gets longer, i can make a mohawk with some shampoo... that's always fun.
-Towel Rack: I need a towel rack directly outside my shower (preferably on the opposite side of the water stream) so i can wipe my face off after i wash my hair, or anytime i feel like i have too much water on my face... anyone who has known me for very long knows that one of my BIGGEST pet peaves is getting water spashed in my face* (whether i'm already wet or not does NOT matter... anytime i have extra drops of water on my face bugs the shit outta me.) So i usually wipe my face off 3-4 times per shower cause i can't stand water on my face.

Well folks that's it... that's my theory on showers. I would also like to point out that even though i mentioned Chelsea's shower in the beginning of this post, i had a pleasurable shower experience in her shower. In fact, that's what sparked my thought. Cause i was expecting it to be a bad experience (it doesn't look like a very appetizing shower), but it came through and i was happy with its performance. Even though it scored poorly in the lighting, water control, and curtain categories, the stream on it was so nice, that it made up for those things... which goes to show how a good stream of water can make or break your shower.

*Another reason i hate having water splashed on my face is that i have to clean my glasses off whenever there's a drop on there... and that can get annoying.


Jessy said...

I definitely have a firehose shower, n'est-ce pas? Too bad I don't have a dryer to make fluffy warm towels for when I get out of the firehose... you know, to make up for half of my skin missing when I accidentally blast my skin off and then scald whatever's remaining.

Anyway... you forgot something.

Tom said...

I vote you take your glasses off while showering so you can wet/wash your face without being annoyed.

Not Justin said...

Question: How much better would the shower experience have been if Chelsea was in there too?

Jeff said...

tom, you're a retard... i figured when i said "i'm pretty blind so i need a lot of light in my shower" you would assume that i take my glasses off when i shower...

neva said...

SO true about the shower..I hate it when you can't figure out the mechanics.
I understood that you took a shower without your glasses.....

MotherOf3Guys said...

I think I got a whole new vocabulary today reading this blog. ("little ball thingy", "twisty lifty", "bath filler") I have to say that the Manassas shower has stumped a few folks with the pull down from the faucet variety of shower controls. I also give you full marks on the lengthy thought process you had detailing the various shower components. I am in total agreement on your assessments, but as far as I'm concerned...it's bathtubs all the way, over the shower thing!