Wednesday, November 16, 2011

I'm Too Sexy for my Socks.

I am really picky about my socks. I have a few favorite pairs that I like to wear. When all of my "good" socks are gone, it makes me very unhappy. The sad truth about socks is that every style that you will ever love will no longer be in existence when you realize how badass they are. Good socks last for longer than they are on the market. Every single pair of socks that have stood the test of time for me and continually find themselves "in the rotation" I cannot find in stores or online. All of the sock companies have new styles of socks and you can't find your badass socks that you fell in love with, so you have to buy socks that are similar to your badass socks. The problem is that these phony badass socks get stretched out in about a week and you are left wondering why your beloved socks aren't made anymore! The whole sock market is awful.

This begs the question.. Do I risk buying a large amount of possibly badass socks in the store on the chance that they will remain in the "good socks" column for years to come? If they turn out to be great, long-lasting socks, it's a good investment (cause i'll never be able to find them again). The chances are slim though.

Luckily for me, there is a happy ending to this story. Just this past weekend, I FINALLY found one of my favorite styles of socks online, and purchased 18 pairs. So I should be set for a while. Yay to new socks!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

I Have Another Blog!


Check out the new blog I have started with my girlfriend HERE! Already 1 post by yours truly!


Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Angry, Hateful People.

It seems like everywhere you go, you are confronted with people who are so miserable with their own lives that they take it out on everyone and everything. These people are so "glass half empty" that it's kinda sad for me, cause they don't effect me in a way that i assume they want. For example, at the Weg's last week, there was a customer who essentially yelled at me over a 4 cent difference between the price on the tag, and a price on a sign that someone forgot to change. I told him that the price was $2.18, not the $2.14 on the sign that is changed manually. I really wanted to just hand the guy a quarter and go, "there you go sir, now you're ahead..." but alas, I did not. I simply told him that i'd make sure he got his $2.14 price up at the register.

There are only 2 reasons to get your panties in a twist over 4 cents.
1.) You live on a REALLY fixed income...
2.) You have nothing better to do with your life than to haggle with someone about it.

In the end, the whole situation gives me a good laugh and makes me appreciate how freaking awesome my life is that i can shrug off so much negative energy. I've got a great family, awesome friends, and I'm making money... so what do i have to complain about? Not much really... I'm in a great stage of life where everything is looking up and vile human beings will not and cannot ever change that.

With that in mind, I would like to point everyone to a blog a wrote in 2006 when i was 22. You don't have to read (or re-read) this blog, but i would like to point out the comments section. I'm still getting comments about this post 4 years later by anonymous people who are really just looking to incite a reaction out of me... It's really amusing. I actually feel different now about how beer pong should be played, but that's beside the point... the point is that someone either searched google for "beer pong rules" and made their way to my blog, or someone is just trying to piss me off via anonymity. Either way I think it's awesome that they are spending (read: wasting) their time to comment on a 4 year old blog post.

So... to all you haters commenting on my beer pong post... Keep it up... it's really entertaining to me (and other people i assume).

P.S. How awesome is the picture i found for this blog? Google images wins... first picture under a "angry people" search.

Sunday, September 06, 2009

Failure to Communicate.

As i was surfing the webs, i went through my bookmarks for "Blogs" and saw an update of my now "cousin in-law's" blog about her honeymoon something hit me. I saw the links to other people's blogs and how how "fresh" the latest post was... I looked down the list and saw mine on there with "5 months" and thought to myself... "man, it surely hasn't been that long at all." But then i figured it out where the disconnect in my brain came from....

Facebook and/or Twitter.

Don't get me wrong, I check to see updates about every hour, every day, and have mountains of pages to catch up on when i take a break for a day, but there is something erosive about having a "status update" readily available at ANY moment in my life... With being able to check facebook from my phone basically anywhere and anytime, any thoughts or (usually stupid) jokes that pop into my head get directly translated to my friends and family via facebook or the occasional "tweet." After a while, an idea i have for a blog ends up being shortened into a 140 character one-liner and doesn't get the previous thought and planning as it used to. Generally for a post on this blog in previous years, i would at least have 2 or 3 previously thought up "jokes" or "ideas" that would pertain to a certain subject, but now for the instant gratification, i can post it up on a status update, and my parents, brother, or maybe even a sister-in-law, or sister in-law-in-law, will inevitably click that all so addictive "like" button and make that little red conversation balloon in the bottom right hand corner of facebook light up.

Have I been reduced to one-liners and non-thought out posts pertaining to "what are you doing?" in 140 characters or less? maybe. Will i make an effort to hold out on any ideas i have and let them stew a bit to see if i can come up with a post for this blog? We'll see. The last thing i want to do is say "I promise to write more on here" because in another 5 months, i'll be looking at Vanessa's blog again and see that my blog has yet to be updated from this post.

So... I encourage you and all your friends to take some time out, write a well thought out, longer than 2 sentences statement and share what really makes you tick or floats your boat, cause its definitely more interesting than the infoless status updates that take up so much of our time.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

What Price Fame?

A couple months ago when i was working at the Weggy, this magazine was for sale, and I just could not let it go. Apparently OK! Magazine hires monkeys to edit their COVER. What price fame? I think i heard someone say this at China Inn when i was ordering my kung pow chicken the other day. Now there's nothing wrong with someone who's primary language is not english to speak like this, because let's face it, more people in the world speak Chinenglish and other forms of English than what i consider American English. But the cover of an American magazine has "what price fame" as its bold print, attention getting headline... come on guys. It reminds me of throwing a beautifully written essay into one of those translators online. They spit out the words, but it's just all wrong. My suggestion to OK magazine is to figure out "What Price Hire New Editor?" Am I crazy for thinking this is ridiculous or am i just being too harsh? Did anyone else see this magazine and find something wrong about it, or was it just me?

Monday, March 02, 2009

Round Shoelaces.

I can never get round shoelaces to stay tied for longer than an hour... why the fuck do they still make shoelaces round? I know they seem like they are better choices than the flat ones which can get twisted... but the flat ones don't come untied... so what gives?

Stupid round shoelaces.

Saturday, February 07, 2009

25 Random Things About Me.

1.) I have a blog which i love when people read, but i usually don't know who is reading it. But i tend to neglect it for a few months on end, then bang out 4 or 5 quickfire the next week or so. I have a lot of ideas of future blogs, but just need to sit down and spend the time to make them funny/witty/or generally interesting (i think) for the readers (which mostly consists of my family). If you read through the archives, i'm sure you will find a few more than 25 interesting things about me.

2.) I am really cocky and self-centered. I usually think i'm better than you at everything, and most times i'm right, but i don't have the heart to tell you and i feel bad for even thinking it, but it's just how i see things. When i'm NOT good at something, I will always say so because i can't stand to be worse at something than you, so i take away the ammo you have against making fun of me for it. You can usually witness this if we're playing beer pong or quarters... the combination of alcohol and a stupid little game i'm good at is a recipe for Cocky Jeff to make an appearance. Just ask anyone who's played beer pong with me.
3.) More than anything, i strive to be funny. Nothing makes me happier than making someone who i think is funny laugh. This is usually a good thing, but i know will bite me in my ass big time at some point. In fact, I KNOW it will ruin a few job interviews, I just can't help myself when the joke pops in my head. Most of my jokes fail, but i love those jokes as much as the ones that actually are funny. Quantity breeds quality in the field of humor. When you tell 100 jokes, a few of them HAVE to be funny. That's just how i roll.

4.) I am AWESOME at counting.

6.) I have never tried weed. Don't really plan on it either, unless it becomes legal (which i doubt). And I've never done any other illegal drugs either.

7.) I love to drive. We going somewhere? I'm usually driving. This is for a few reasons: I usually feel like other people aren't paying as much attention on the road as me as a passenger, therefore i spend a lot of time stomping on the imaginary brake pedal on the passenger side. Also I usually know where i'm going, and when i don't, i have Carmin Garmin with me to solve those issues quickly.

8.) I am still very addicted to fast food. I get great pleasure out of french fries, JBC's, Quarter Pounders, and Stuft Grilled burritos. If i am hungry and a fast food commercial comes on, I usually end up wanting that for the rest of the night.

9.) I used to be a really picky eater, but now i am (usually) willing to try most anything. Sushi? sure why not? Zucchini? awesome... pile it on. Broccoli? Sounds good to me. Oysters? I think i'll still pass, but good guess though.

10.) I can put down some Dr. Pepper. Ever seen Forrest Gump? Yeah, it's that bad.

11.) I could watch tv all day and all night and have a great day. If i turned all the time i spend watching tv to study time, I would have a 4.0 in college (I don't).

12.) In the same vein as #2, I'm smart enough to know who's smarter than me, and that can help me from making an idiot of myself.

13.) I'm not an english major, but i like it when your grammar is correct. There, they're, and their is not hard to get right. Too, to, and two, too. And for the last fucking time, it's spelled TOMORROW, not tomarrow.

14.) I have a tattoo of VT on my ass cheek. Haven't told anyone yet, but it rules.

15.) I ALWAYS lie about #14 on lists I create just to have my mom's heart skip a beat (I don't have a tattoo mom, so don't call me and ask if i do).

16.) The only thing i would change about my dog Avery is that she pees and poops in the house. Other than that, she is a perfect dog to me. And quite honest, if i was more vigilant about exercise, discipline, then affection, this problem would probably disappear. I need to walk her more often, but usually end up doing stuff like #11.

17.) I love Virginia Tech and Blacksburg more and more as time goes by. Even when i was at the point where it didn't look like i was going to graduate from here, I still felt like a Hokie. It holds a special place in my heart and always will. If i ever get a tattoo, it will be a VT (but not on my ass).

18.) I like to think that my music tastes are broad. I at least like 1 song from every genre (even rap... thank you white boy Eminem and his posse, D12). My only criteria is that you have some form of talent backing what you are doing. Nickelback does not have talent, therefore i don't like them.

19.) I've always wanted to try stand-up, but have never had the balls to actually write down my jokes. Writing them down is the first step. Getting up on stage is the next step... can't even get past the first step... maybe one day....

20.) Life is boring without music. I don't understand how people can ride around in their cars not be listening to music. How do you do that? Someone please explain.

21.) I wish i could thank everyone who helped me get to where i am as a person, student, friend, uncle, brother, son, and fianc

22.) I miss high school. Most people say they hate high school, but i enjoyed every second of it. Talent show, running track, (being skinny), hangin out with the 4 amigos... hard to beat.

23.) I need to play guitar more. I'm at the point now where i don't get any better. I'm stuck where i'm at musically, and i need to kick it into high gear if i'm ever going to get any better. Playing less than once a week is terrible for my fingers, and they hate me for it.

24.) I have the best parents in the world. I don't know how people survive without them. If i screw something up, they'll tell me it wasn't smart, and fix it for me. For example, overdrafting my bank account ALL THE TIME. "I hope you enjoyed that $35 JBC, don't do it again."