Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Top 10 Worst Beer Pong Rules Ever.

And by 10, i mean, i'm just going to list some rules that piss me off. if it happens to be 10, then it's by accident. it might be more, it might be less. Be happy if there's 10.

But the reason that i'm even writing this is because something has been lost in the past few years. It all started when myself and the boys went to JMU for our high school college day (where you were allowed to skip school if you were going to a college and went on a college tour). This was the first time i ever played beer pong (sorry Mom and Dad, but you knew it was going to happen... you're not dumb). Anyways, this was a great evening where a much simple-er game was played. Nowadays, people have stupid ass crazy rules for the game and ruin the point of the game.

Now for all yous in college, skip this paragraph, cause i'm gonna go over the basics for the elder generation so they know what's going on with these moronic rules. So the game goes like this, 2 teams of 2 (that's 4 people folks), both on opposite ends of a long table (or kitchen pantry door). 6 Solo cups arranged in a triangle are placed on each side of the table. These cups are then filled with a pre-determined amount of beer.... usually "the first line" or about an inch's worth of beer. Then, the 2 members of each team try to throw a ping pong ball into the opposing team's cups. The opposing team has to drink the beer in the cup that your ball lands in(which is in turn removed from the playing surface). If both players on a team make a cup, then they get to take another 2 shots. Whoever makes all 6 cups first wins, and generally, the cups that your opponents didn't make, they have to consume (in addition to the 6 cups you made).

I like to think of beer pong as being more of a fun skill game to play while drinking, where most other people do it just to get really drunk, really quick... so they come up with retarded rules to make it more about being an alcoholic, than a talented ping pong ball thrower. So all those who use beer pong as an excuse to massively chug beers, go get a beer bong and stop reading, cause you're probably not going to be happy with some of my least favorite rules. The game should be more about enjoying the game and less about getting sloshed.... anyone can get sloshed... it takes skill and practice to actually be good at beer pong. So here goes:

-You must finish all of your beer before you are allowed to shoot.
This is for frat boys, and people who like vomiting. I'll finish my beer, at my own pace, but i ALWAYS finish whatever i win/lose. Most males in college like this rule cause they're all pussies and if they didn't have to chug their beer to get their shot, they'd probably never finish all their beer. And once again, this is more about enjoying the game than getting drunk.

-Bitches blow.
This was a fairly new rule to me when i moved into my apartment sophomore year... This is a rule that if your shot is "rimming out" or "toilet bowling" then a female is allowed to blow the ball out of the cup before it hits the beer. This is a faulty rule for a couple of reasons. #1 girls should NOT get any extra help for playing, they need to learn how to play like the rest of us. #2 I have successfully blown a ping pong ball out of a cup when it was just sitting on the beer. there's no way to tell if the ball hit the beer or not, so it's basically going on trust, cause the team that shot the ball can't see down into the cup. I've gotten into many-a-arguments over this rule, people trying to cheat, thinking that people are cheating, whatever... it's a dumb rule and girls need to learn how to play without cheating.

-There's not a name for it, but it's the male counterpart to bitches blow.
I've only seen this once, and i'm sorry to say that it was at my almost roomate's place. The rule is that if the ball is still spinning around the cup, you are allowed to reach in a try to knock it out before it hits the beer. This is just asking for beer all over the place. If the ball goes in the cup, and ends up at the bottom of the cup, who cares how long it takes for it to actually get to the beer.... just let it go and drink the beer in it... and quit trying to get around the other team making cups.

-If you make 2 balls in the same cup, it's game over, you win... no ifs ands or buts.
FUCK THIS RULE. It rewards people for shooting fast and not actually trying. If your partner shoots and makes it in a cup, and you happen to make your shot in the same cup, it means you shot too fast and didn't give the other team a chance to remove the cup from the playing field. Instead of trying to shoot right after your partner so the other team doesn't have time to pick up a made cup, you should actually learn how to play, and make 6 cups to win... it's not that hard, quit trying to make shortcuts out of the game. Now this rule is very similar to the "if you make it in an opposing player's drinking cup, then you win." I'm ok with this rule with some stipulations. #1 If there is someone playing who is drinking out of something other than a solo cup, then that will make it an unfair advantage to one of the teams (big cup = unfair advantage for opponent). #2 All players are using 1 cup to pour their beer into after the other team makes each shot. If you're drinking from 7 cups, then you can't really single out the person's "drinking cup."

-Various racks other than the diamond, triangle, or OO.
Generally you get 1 re-rack upon request... sometimes forced reracks... i like both of these rules. I will now go over acceptable and unacceptable rerackings.
Acceptable Racks:

Both of these are cheating, cause it produces a vertical straight line (which is slightly easier to make). If you have 3 cups, it needs to be the triangle...

-When both players make their shots, You only get 1 ball returned.
Rollbacks are a such a great thing, why ruin it by only giving back 1 and not giving the chance for double rollbacks? a team that can consistantly get rollbacks is a team that's gonna win a lot.

I can go either way with this. Sometimes i like bouncing, sometimes i don't. But what i don't like, is when a person shoots, it hits off the cup, bounces off a wall or something and THEN goes into the cup and people counting it as 2 (if you bounce the ball in it's like you made 2 cups, but the other team can swat it away). If you purposely try to bounce it in to get 2 cups, then you should be rewarded for that. but if you miss a normal shot and it happens to bounce and go in, it shouldn't even count.

-Not so much of a rule, just a way of playing.
I came across 2 people from ODU who liked to shoot their first shot (most times a bounce) right as i was releasing the ball. What a cheap way to play, avoiding the defense cause i was still shooting instead of looking for the bounce. On my 3rd time, i pretended to shoot and the guy shot his shot, so i made him drink 2 for shooting before me... prick.

-Another not-rule.
Anyone who complains about the house rules should be banned off the table.... cause its annoying. Granted, I have complained about the "make to balls in the same cup and it's game over rule" at many-a places, but i refused to play beer pong at these places ever again.

That's all i can handle right now, i might throw some more in the comments later... and if you have any that you hate, throw them up there.


Jessy said...

Hahaha, bouncing off walls, people, etc is soooo on target. I was playing at UVA in Jack's house... their rule is that if it's guys vs. girls, "bouncing the ball off a girl's chest into any of the cups is an automatic win". Instead of aiming for cups, they aimed for any visible cleavage... if it got "stuck" in the cleavage, of course they tried to get it out of there. Though I made Jack abolish that rule, I'm sure it's back on the house rules when I'm not around. (And he wonders why his "pimp" skills wouldn't work.)

Claire said...

hahahaha. funny.

my least favorite rule is about knocking the cup over. apparently if you knock the cup over, you automatically lose. i hate that shit because you can have one cup and they'll have like four and they win but didn't do shit.


Sam said...

never a frat guy but always finished my cup before i shot. never more than an inch in there so you should be able to drink in two sips. if not, you are the pussy and can get the f off my table!!!!! alcoholic rules are when you fill the cups half way and you still have to drink before you shoot. now that sucks. no blows, guys or chicks. only one rerack and that is when only 3 cups remain, triangle is the only acceptable rerack and has to be requested. no bounce, unless it bounces off the cup, off your chin, and in a cup. that counts. knock a cup over, it counts but you got to clean that s up.

overall, agree... you got to keep it simple.

Anonymous said...

A friend and I were playing bp against these two drunk girls last night... girls get away with sooo much shit. They kept knocking the balls away or moving the table when no one was looking, and those who did see it excused their behaviour because they had tits. We eventually just left the table.

Anonymous said...

God I would hate to play beer pong with your picky, over-analyzing ass.

jgibson said...

You guys need to stop with all the rule hating, suck it up and play world series of beer pong rules. The last time I played pong a guy was bitching about pong rules that we were playing and I showed him the world series rules and it shut him up quick. Check out the rules. Bpong.com

Anonymous said...

bro.... your period last a long time or a week?

House rules are fun... bouncing is beast... cant handle it... take your tampon out.....

if you can't find a cutie to blow for you (which i have no doubt in my mind that if you could... the rule would make more sense to you... )then your lame...

and there is a name for guys "blowing" they call it fingering.... makes the game more fun...

and last " Anonymous said...
God I would hate to play beer pong with your picky, over-analyzing ass.
10:27 PM" i know right?

Anonymous said...

you're a pussy

Anonymous said...

Don't be a little bitch. Not everything can go the way you want. Might as well drink fruity drinks with the women... fuckin whiner.

Anonymous said...

Guys Finger, Bitches Blow.

And not drinking your cup before you shoot can only serve to help you in that it makes no room for the other team to even have a chance at hitting your drink cup and ending the game that way. Just drink

Phil Partington said...

Great blog. I'm with you on all accounts. As for the bounce rule, I don't mind if it wanders in on luck...the defense needs to be paying attention. To me, that's the same as someone knocking it in their own cup. However, it needs to hit the table FIRST. If it hits the cup, then the table then bounces in, that doesn't apply to the bounce rule.

Some rules I find annoying are the "behind the back" rule, where if the ball comes back to you after you shoot, you get one free shot behind the back. Dumbass rule.

I also shake my head at people who whine at the overshot rule (where if you overshoot the ball, hitting nothing but air, you lose a cup). That's a pretty basic rule. Games that don't incorporate that rule are wussy games, IMHO.

Great blog. Keep it up.

Evan said...

your a fag. dont bitch about rules and just play the friggen game. it should be played with 10 cups, not 6 (the game lasts longer) And an inch of beer? Ive played with cups half full of vodka and you have to drink before you shoot. suck a choad!

Anonymous said...

Your a bitch. girls blow, guys finger. If your so good then make the cup without the ball spinning around and you won't have that problem. And in my book there are more reracks that are acceptable. Other than that whatever. How come you get to decide whats acceptable. you didn't play till college. wtf?

Jennifer said...

stop bitching about his rules..
if you dont like them then get the fuck off his page.
we all have our own opinions so stop be a hypocrit and calling him a bitch when all of you guys are too.

Anonymous said...

Dude you're paying way too much attention to the rules...the whole point is to just play and get drunk. Seriously calm the fuck down and go by house rules

Anonymous said...

damn, im fucking glad i dont play pong with you. Your insatiable dislike of deathcup (2 balls in the same cup=game over) is something i just dont understand. I have seen some pretty fucking insane deathcups. It seems to me like your just a bitch loser and cant take getting deathcupped. And the fact that you actually refuse to play pong at places where they uphold deathcup just makes you look like a total BITCH.

Anonymous said...

you didnt play until college? what the fuck?
Why are you the beer pong expert? Everyone else has been playing since high school.

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