Thursday, July 06, 2006

Girls are Evil.

I can do a lot of complicated things. I can play drums. I can play guitar. I can spin a basketball on my finger. I can juggle. I can throw a ping pong ball into a beer filled up across the room.

But for the love of god, i can not figure out girls.

I thought i was doing good there for a while, but once again, i'm completely lost. It's like they're bred to send mixed signals. So my question for you, is what is the real signal, and what is the fake signal. cause it usually turns out that i go for the fake at a 90% rate. it's an accurate number. i swear.

So what i'm trying to say is... make up your damn minds and help a brother out, let me know what the story is cause it could be painted on the wall and i wouldn't be able to figure it out.


Michal said...

Maybe you are gay.
(Not that there's anything wrong with that)

Grumpy Ump said...

Oh my!

ok here it is.

No = Yes
Yes = no

therefore when they say Yes... well Yes = No. Got it?

Now there is only one subject that No = No.
"When she says No"... "She means No." ( Paul Thorn )

We as men do have the ability to change that No into a Yes.. but watch out we only have a limited amout of those reversals. So far in our life I have been able to turn it 3 times.. ( once for every decade of our married life ) I have 1 left in reserve, since this is the fourth decade in progress.

neva said...

WHat?????? us?? hard to figure out?? you're joking right? We ALWAYS mean what we say or say what we mean or mean to say what we mean to say but say what??!!!

MotherOf3Guys said...

Did he say he had 1 in reserve???? Just checking...I'll agree though...girls can be evil, but you gotta love 'em!

Jessy said...

Poor Jeffis, that's like Capote's 94% recall rate of conversations. I apologize in advance for the ranting that I'm about to do here.

A real signal= when a girl does something besides flirting with you to confirm or deny that she is into you. Some girls have their individual quirks, but most of us are a little bit shy or flat out in denial when we first discover that we like a guy. That might send mixed signals, but it's generally solved by the first kiss... if it's hot, if there are sparks flying like a fireworks show, there's something there. Sometimes the build up to the whole "let's go make out" can take awhile, but it's worth it. Unless of course... well all I'm saying is "Chris". You get the idea.

A fake signal= "We should hang out again some other time" or any other standard line or any flirting that sounds too good to be true. Pretty much if she wants to hang out, you will hang out... definitely within the first two weeks (and that's stretching it) of contact. We know guys scare easily, and we're also privy to being hurt, so most of us try to find a viable excuse or get the guts to tell the truth when we know what's up...

If that's not enough, just wait for her to get frustrated with your non-action and do something about it. That normally sets things straight.

<3 "Missy "

Jeff said...

i need to filter this thing for greek cause i didn't understand a word of that.... anyone else? hahaha

chels said...

My dearest Jeff, you poor thing....why try, we're girls you're guys. let it go....Remember some 10 years ago when we said we were going to run away somewhere? Ok, thats the perfect example of why women are who they are. We say things and we really do mean them...when we say them at least...but its all about the reality and timing of the situation. For you to understand whether we mean what we say and what we mean by it when we say it there is three things: 1) We mean everything we say (otherwise we'd have to admit we were wrong) 2) Just because we mean doesn't mean we're willing to go out of our way to prove that we mean it or follow through with the fact that we mean it. and 3) we like attention. All the time (even the girls who say they aren't attention needy are, in some way, and always more than a guy) so we'll say the things that gets your attention. . . . doesn't mean we will continue to want it...thats where reality and timing come in...are the things she's saying really play into her life? are they realistic? could it actually honestly (without a considerable amount of effort) happen? there you go. The moral of this lesson is: Yes means yes (guys think it means no) and No usually means yes. But a Yes doesn't always mean you actually do it and a no doesn't mean you actually always dont. Got it?

thought it would help. Good luck, but really, I think you should just love us because you don't get it. Thats what makes girls so fascinating. If we were as boring and easy to understand as guys...where would the exciting drama and night time television come from. haha. ;)

Anonymous said...

You're not meant to figure girls out--we're just one life's GREAT mysteries!

But, don't give up, we have so much fun watching guys try to figure us out!