Wednesday, September 20, 2006


So this weekend i went to the rent's house for a jam sunday night. In the basement of my parent's house, we have about 7 mini-fridges. Ok so maybe not 7, more like 3. Two of them weren't even plugged in. So i took it upon myself to make my little bachelor pad of an upstairs at the LP a little more lazy rewarding. Now one of those 3 refrigerators is now in the 3rd floor of the LP waiting to be filled with 6 packs of be.....soda.

Now all i need is someone to bring me stuff from my fridge to my computer, and i'll be set.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

I Need Some Fucking Ketchup.

As dane cook has stated in one of his comedy routines... when you need ketchup, there is nothing that can stop you at this goal. Your friend could be contemplating suicide and you'd interrupt them to get some ketchup for your hot tasty french fries. But enough on how awesome ketchup is... it's time to divulge into the dark side of this tomato-based product.

The bane of my existance is what one would call the "ketchup packet." You all have seen them, we've all used them, we all hate them.

First of all, this tiny metal packet is filled with about thimble's worth of ketchup. Who the hell uses 1 packet of ketchup for their entire meal? Have you ever seen ANYONE use just 1 packet? No. You haven't. Cause it doesn't happen... Some of you are thinking "but what if i don't like ketchup?" Shutup, i'm not talking to the weird people who prefer to put mustard on their food instead of ketchup... go read mustard users magazine, cause no one cares... anyways, if you're only using 1 packet of ketchup, there's a strong chance that it's the last ketchup packet in the joint.

Secondly, it's so much work having to open every single packet just to get a small amount out... all these places that still have packets need to get those ketchup pumps. So the ketchup fiends like myself and Steiner can get our fix.

There are also some people in this world who don't open a ketchup packet properly... you know who you are you lazy mofos. You're the people who just make 1 rip down the center of the packet, and just leave half of the ketchup still in the packet when you dispose of it... shameful. The correct way to do it is to tear off a corner, that way your fingers can stay ketchup free and you can squeeze out all the ketchup outta the packet.

As if all of this wasn't enough, there's also 1 more thing that can sneak up on you and ruin your dining experience....

That gunk that is almost ALWAYS on some of the packets in the collection of packets.... what the hell is this crap... it looks like freaking honey. It's sticky as hell and is just repulsive when you get some on your hands. Is it glue from the manufacturing of the packets? is it actually honey? is it dried ketchup? who the hell knows.... but what i DO know is that it's disgusting. and it's almost on your hands when you grab from a ketchup bin.

And yes, i know the packet in the picture isn't in english... leave me alone, it was the first one i found on google.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Another Song That's Getting the Axe.

I came across Bryan Adam's "Everything I Do, I Do it for You" today. it's getting the axe too... that's all for now... bye bye.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Top 10 Worst Beer Pong Rules Ever.

And by 10, i mean, i'm just going to list some rules that piss me off. if it happens to be 10, then it's by accident. it might be more, it might be less. Be happy if there's 10.

But the reason that i'm even writing this is because something has been lost in the past few years. It all started when myself and the boys went to JMU for our high school college day (where you were allowed to skip school if you were going to a college and went on a college tour). This was the first time i ever played beer pong (sorry Mom and Dad, but you knew it was going to happen... you're not dumb). Anyways, this was a great evening where a much simple-er game was played. Nowadays, people have stupid ass crazy rules for the game and ruin the point of the game.

Now for all yous in college, skip this paragraph, cause i'm gonna go over the basics for the elder generation so they know what's going on with these moronic rules. So the game goes like this, 2 teams of 2 (that's 4 people folks), both on opposite ends of a long table (or kitchen pantry door). 6 Solo cups arranged in a triangle are placed on each side of the table. These cups are then filled with a pre-determined amount of beer.... usually "the first line" or about an inch's worth of beer. Then, the 2 members of each team try to throw a ping pong ball into the opposing team's cups. The opposing team has to drink the beer in the cup that your ball lands in(which is in turn removed from the playing surface). If both players on a team make a cup, then they get to take another 2 shots. Whoever makes all 6 cups first wins, and generally, the cups that your opponents didn't make, they have to consume (in addition to the 6 cups you made).

I like to think of beer pong as being more of a fun skill game to play while drinking, where most other people do it just to get really drunk, really quick... so they come up with retarded rules to make it more about being an alcoholic, than a talented ping pong ball thrower. So all those who use beer pong as an excuse to massively chug beers, go get a beer bong and stop reading, cause you're probably not going to be happy with some of my least favorite rules. The game should be more about enjoying the game and less about getting sloshed.... anyone can get sloshed... it takes skill and practice to actually be good at beer pong. So here goes:

-You must finish all of your beer before you are allowed to shoot.
This is for frat boys, and people who like vomiting. I'll finish my beer, at my own pace, but i ALWAYS finish whatever i win/lose. Most males in college like this rule cause they're all pussies and if they didn't have to chug their beer to get their shot, they'd probably never finish all their beer. And once again, this is more about enjoying the game than getting drunk.

-Bitches blow.
This was a fairly new rule to me when i moved into my apartment sophomore year... This is a rule that if your shot is "rimming out" or "toilet bowling" then a female is allowed to blow the ball out of the cup before it hits the beer. This is a faulty rule for a couple of reasons. #1 girls should NOT get any extra help for playing, they need to learn how to play like the rest of us. #2 I have successfully blown a ping pong ball out of a cup when it was just sitting on the beer. there's no way to tell if the ball hit the beer or not, so it's basically going on trust, cause the team that shot the ball can't see down into the cup. I've gotten into many-a-arguments over this rule, people trying to cheat, thinking that people are cheating, whatever... it's a dumb rule and girls need to learn how to play without cheating.

-There's not a name for it, but it's the male counterpart to bitches blow.
I've only seen this once, and i'm sorry to say that it was at my almost roomate's place. The rule is that if the ball is still spinning around the cup, you are allowed to reach in a try to knock it out before it hits the beer. This is just asking for beer all over the place. If the ball goes in the cup, and ends up at the bottom of the cup, who cares how long it takes for it to actually get to the beer.... just let it go and drink the beer in it... and quit trying to get around the other team making cups.

-If you make 2 balls in the same cup, it's game over, you win... no ifs ands or buts.
FUCK THIS RULE. It rewards people for shooting fast and not actually trying. If your partner shoots and makes it in a cup, and you happen to make your shot in the same cup, it means you shot too fast and didn't give the other team a chance to remove the cup from the playing field. Instead of trying to shoot right after your partner so the other team doesn't have time to pick up a made cup, you should actually learn how to play, and make 6 cups to win... it's not that hard, quit trying to make shortcuts out of the game. Now this rule is very similar to the "if you make it in an opposing player's drinking cup, then you win." I'm ok with this rule with some stipulations. #1 If there is someone playing who is drinking out of something other than a solo cup, then that will make it an unfair advantage to one of the teams (big cup = unfair advantage for opponent). #2 All players are using 1 cup to pour their beer into after the other team makes each shot. If you're drinking from 7 cups, then you can't really single out the person's "drinking cup."

-Various racks other than the diamond, triangle, or OO.
Generally you get 1 re-rack upon request... sometimes forced reracks... i like both of these rules. I will now go over acceptable and unacceptable rerackings.
Acceptable Racks:

Both of these are cheating, cause it produces a vertical straight line (which is slightly easier to make). If you have 3 cups, it needs to be the triangle...

-When both players make their shots, You only get 1 ball returned.
Rollbacks are a such a great thing, why ruin it by only giving back 1 and not giving the chance for double rollbacks? a team that can consistantly get rollbacks is a team that's gonna win a lot.

I can go either way with this. Sometimes i like bouncing, sometimes i don't. But what i don't like, is when a person shoots, it hits off the cup, bounces off a wall or something and THEN goes into the cup and people counting it as 2 (if you bounce the ball in it's like you made 2 cups, but the other team can swat it away). If you purposely try to bounce it in to get 2 cups, then you should be rewarded for that. but if you miss a normal shot and it happens to bounce and go in, it shouldn't even count.

-Not so much of a rule, just a way of playing.
I came across 2 people from ODU who liked to shoot their first shot (most times a bounce) right as i was releasing the ball. What a cheap way to play, avoiding the defense cause i was still shooting instead of looking for the bounce. On my 3rd time, i pretended to shoot and the guy shot his shot, so i made him drink 2 for shooting before me... prick.

-Another not-rule.
Anyone who complains about the house rules should be banned off the table.... cause its annoying. Granted, I have complained about the "make to balls in the same cup and it's game over rule" at many-a places, but i refused to play beer pong at these places ever again.

That's all i can handle right now, i might throw some more in the comments later... and if you have any that you hate, throw them up there.