
"To be... or not to be.... that is the question."



Doug and Carrie Heffernan: The King of Queens eh? I doubt it. While Kevin James does indeed rule, I don't believe his character in this sitcom could've EVER gotten Carrie. In almost all of the episodes i've seen, there's been a problem between the two, and neither of them want to be around each other. Carrie is ALWAYS mad/upset/pissed/angry at Doug, and I don't see how they can survive. It seems like a hellish life to live being in a relationship where it's ALL drama and dysfunction. Drama and dysfunction are manageable, but not everyday like the sitcom implies.
Ray and Debbie Barone: The thinnest of my list here, Ray is really just a bafoon. He and his "fed up wife" (as imdb.com says) live across the street from his parents. This really wouldn't be that big of a deal if the parents were easy going and nice, but they're not. They are terribly annoying and a huge stress on the marriage. The biggest problem of this marriage IS the parents. If Ray had ANY sense, he would move away from his parents and SAVE his marriage. With an overbearing mother bearing down on his wife day in and day out, the marriage seem to me to be on the rocks. I would think that most couples who end up living within walking distance of their parents are going to have some problems that stem from said parents.There is a small problem with this commercial. And that problem is the word "again." Let's assume that everything in this commercial is "true." For instance, there is a substance called "high speed" and that there is a lab of rats could actually get into it, and that they would in turn become super fast.
Assuming all of that is true, the first technician says "The rats got into the high speed AGAIN." This implies that the rats have gotten into the once before. This creates 1 of 2 different outcomes. 1: They have already slowed them down once before, so they already know how to do it... or 2: The high speed didn't speed them up nearly fast enough the first time that it would be a problem.
#1: The technicians would have already dealt with this problem once before(or would be able to find someone who has). Even though it might be a problem, they would not be as clueless as they appear to be in the commercial. The white guy in the commercial says "We could give them DSL?" in a dumbfounded manner. I feel like one of the 3 of them should have at least an IDEA of what actions to take.
#2: If this is in fact not the first time the rats have gotten into the high speed, and they didn't fix the problem the first (or more) time(s), that identifies a major problem for Comcast. Their high speed was not enough of a problem the first time, which implies that it's not that fast in the first place. They can handle the rats the first time they get into the high speed, but it takes AT LEAST 2 doses of it to make the rats go haywire.
Technically speaking, this commercial is completely unbelievable (with respect to logic). I feel like this commercial would be 1000x better if they didn't use that freaking "again." I haven't seen any other fallacies with their other commercials, but i'm sure they're just around the corner.
I am a big dork. Starting on November 23, 2004... i was hooked to the World of Warcraft. Now this really isn't something that i like to brag about... in fact... there was a period of time where i would very hypocritically make fun of a "friend" who would do nothing but play WoW... but go home to pretty much the same thing as him. This is not something that is looked upon as "cool" or "useful" in the real world. This is a hobby of mine that i am not proud of, but still find a huge amount of enjoyment out of... So... in defense of this habit of mine that is not quite the healthiest of all, i will attempt to explain the ins and outs of what makes this game so addicting to the layman... or laywoman... whichever you prefer to be today.Having a ton of songs on your Ipod is really only good for 1 thing... hearing stuff you would never willingly say, "I want to hear this song." Everyone i know that has an Ipod, has it filled with mostly stuff they like... but there are always skip-able songs, songs that they fell in love with in 3rd grade, or just random crap from some 1 hit wonder's full album.
Listening to my ipod every night has its ups and and downs... one of the downs includes these random ass songs that come on. And even though the song i'm about to dissect isn't really a random song... it really shouldn't be on my ipod... because i would skip it. This particular song happens to find it's way into the 100ish songs out of the 3000ish songs on my ipod probably 3-4 times a week. SO... after giving up hope, i decided that i would listen to it the next couple times it came on, and i realized that it really is a terribly written song. You all should recognize the song because it was very popular when it was a single... I will now dissect End of the Road, made popular (at least to me) by Boyz II Men... not Boys to Men.... not Boys 2, Men... not Men at Work... Anyways... here's my critique of this song, verse by verse (lyrics are in blue):
This song starts off with a short spoken line by the Bass dude who always talks in the songs...
"Girl you know we belong together
I have no time for you to be playing
With my heart like this
You’ll be mine forever baby, you just see"
- This opening line makes you start to feel bad for this dude...
Verse 1
" We belong together
And you that I’m right
Why do you play with my heart,
Why do you play with my mind?"
-If she knew he was right... then this song wouldn't really happen... so right off the bat, we know the "guy" in this song is dumb. He's right about them being together, but he can't figure out why she plays with his heart and mind?
"Said we’d be forever
Said it’d never die
How could you love me and leave me
And never say good-bye?"
-This line gives me the impression that he feels like she blind-sided him... apparently he needs to wake up, and smell the break-up. This blind-sided line "never say goodbye" has relevance later... so pay attention.
"Girl I can’t sleep at night without holding you tight
Girl, each time I try I just break down and cry
Pain in my head oh I’d rather be dead
Spinnin’ around and around"
-This is actually my favorite line of the whole song... very well written... you understand how he's feeling... the description of it is brilliant... no complaints here.
Chorus
"Although we’ve come to the end of the road
Still I can’t let you go
It’s unnatural, you belong to me, I belong to you
Come to the end of the road
Still I can’t let you go
It’s unnatural, you belong to me, I belong to you"
-You belong to me, i belong to you... apparently not. It's a chorus... a good summarization, but i really only think that he can say "i belong to you"... "you belong to me" is very stalker-ish.
Verse 2
This is where it starts to get a little weird...
"Girl, I know you really love me,
You just don’t realize
You’ve never been there before
It’s only your first time"
-If he's talking about love, or sex here... they're both kinda creepy. If she really loves him, but doesn't realize it... then is it really love? I am assuming they've been together for a while, so that rules out the "still getting used to you" realizations. If they haven't been together for a while, then this guy got wayyyy to attached wayyyyy to fast. And the whole first time thing... still creepy.
"Maybe I’ll forgive you, hmm
Maybe you’ll try
We should be happy together
Forever, you and i"
-Sounds like from the previous lines of the song, he's already forgiven her... so this is a moot point... she left and didn't say goodbye, so i'm pretty sure she's not going to try. And with the happy together forever thing... Didn't sound like the relationship was so happy in the first place. so this guy is all mixed up.
"Will you love me again like you loved me before
This time I want you to love me much more
This time instead just come to my bed
And baby just don’t let me, don’t let me down"
-The beginning of this verse is "Girl i know you really love me." And the first step he wants to take after she loves him more, is to run straight to bed? Not the best long term planner in the bunch folks. Everything gets solved in bed... brilliant plan there genius.
Chorus Again
Now after this chorus comes the part of the song that makes the rest of the song make NO SENSE. The bass guy comes on and delivers this very convincing speak to the girl. Hilarity ensues...
Spoken
"Girl I’m here for you
All those times of night when you just hurt me
And just run out with that other fella
Baby I knew about it, I just didn’t care
You just don’t understand how much I love you do you?
I’m here for you"
-Wow. So let me get this straight. This girl has played games with your heart and mind, left without saying goodbye, and cheated on you numerous times? "You belong to me" my ass. She NEVER belonged to him. ever. never. The next line says "I just didn't care, you just don't understand how much i love you." What the hell is this guy thinking? What does he even think love is? This guy has no clue. He probably "loved" her because she was looking for a place to crash and someone gullible enough to pay for her shoes and purses and stuff. From the sound of it... its more like his first time in love (or sex for that matter). Also, remember the "never say goodbye" line from before? If he didn't see the outcome of this relationship coming, then it's obvious this guy has the IQ of someone dumber than Forrest.... but he sure can sing his ass off.
"I’m not out to go out and cheat on you all night
Just like you did baby but that’s all right
Hey, I love you anyway
And I’m still gonna be here for you ’till my dying day baby
Right now, I’m just in so much pain baby
Cause you just won’t come back to me
Will you? just come back to me"
-Still wanting her to come back. This guy probably still lives with his mother and plays xbox all night, dresses up for harry potter, and goes to star wars conventions (granted i do 2 of the 4, so i'm only a half nerd, but i'm cool damnit). This girl has been using him from day 1 and will continue to do so when she runs out of money and has no other options. This guy will always take her back because all she has to do is bat her pretty little eyes and he falls for it every time. 2 things going on here... she's the devil, and he's retarded... this is a terrible combination for him.
"Yes baby my heart is lonely
My heart hurts baby
Yes I feel pain too
Baby please"
-"baby i knew about it, i just didn't care" this guy obviously has 2 personalities and they're both morons... just one of them has an aching head and heart.
Final Lead-in to the Chorus
"This time instead just come to my bed
And baby just don’t let me go"
- I'm sick of this guy and his utter lack of having a clue.
So that's it for this song. People liked this song because it was Boyz II Men and they were popular at the time, so no one really listened to the story of the words. Lyrically speaking, this is a terrible song. But it's got a nice sound and it's a good song to slow dance to at your prom... but other than that... it's getting skipped from now on... only because i'm too lazy to find it on my ipod and delete it. And for your viewing and listening pleasure... the video to this song...
Note: this is the "radio version" without the beginning speech. The album has the whole song.


So now i think it's just a trend that all of tom's kids will seek me out as their personal mattress... which i'm ok with, but once they hit 14 or 15, it's gotta stop. So enjoy the pictures of Teddy and his favorite uncle/mattress.
Store managers... If you have a double door to your store, please, for the love of God, KEEP THEM BOTH UNLOCKED. Nothing creates awkward situations quite like a double door where only 1 door opens. Just think of how many times you have tried to walk into a store, you pull the handle, and it's locked... Just at that same instant, someone is exiting the store, and of course they're walking right for the unlocked door (the one you did not choose), so you have to go through the "will they open the door for me, or am i going to open the door for them?" dance. What good is a double door where only 1 door works? Essentially, they should've just saved the trouble of building 2 doors, and just made it 1... they put 2 doors there for a reason, they might as well use them... I'm not sure if people think it saves money on heating/AC bills to have only 1 door that opens, but to me... it's worth the extra 7 cents a month so that my customers will be able to enter and exit at their own will.