Sunday, January 22, 2006

Worst Songs of All Time.

As some of you know (and i'm sure you've had some of your own experiences with this), Wegman's plays a satellite radio station throughout the store to keep the mood light. As this goes with many places. Being a casual customer and only having to hear 1-2 songs over the store loudspeaker system is painless... hell most of you don't even know there's music playing. But when you WORK at a place like that (5 guys, Weggy World), you hear the same songs over and over again. Now this being said, i have no qualms with listening to the same songs over and over if they are decent songs.... i mean, my car has had the same set of cd's in it for like 3 years. (yay K.I.T.). Now if these songs that are played over and over again are the worst songs in history, then it becomes a battle of will not to hurt someone for playing them over and over again. So without further "adoo" the worst songs ever recorded:
(in no particular order)

1.) You Make Me Feel (Like a Natural Woman).
First off, being a man, i can't really comment on having the feeling of a natural woman, but i can assume that feeling like a natural man shouldn't come too hard for me. hell, i feel like a natural man right now... and you aren't even making me feel that way. Aretha Franklin really hit on a winner for this song, cause i'm sure that 95-98% of men want this song to be burned at the proverbial stake. and the other 5-2% want to sing this song cause they want to feel like a natural woman.* (not that there's anything wrong with that.)

2.) Downtown.
Horrible lyrics aside, when you can only hear the girl saying "DOWNTOWN" in the same 2 notes the WHOLE FREAKING SONG, you tend to get annoyed. Plus, everything will NOT be great when you're downtown, cause i hear that a lot of downtowns have violence and drugs and inner city crap. whoever sang this must have been in some downtown in wisconsin something where the only thing they do illegal is cow tipping. (no offense wisconsonians.)

3.) No More I Love You's.
Do I really have to explain this one people. He broke up with you, you're sad, get over it. Go find some other jerk to say to you "i love you." on a side note, he really didn't love you anyways, he just wanted in your pants.

4.) Eternal Flame.
80's songs FTW. i guess i don't have much to say about this one but i do have a question. Is this burning an eternal flame?

5.) What's Love Got to Do With It?
Everything. Shut up whore. Everyone needs a heart. Tina Turner, you're old and i have never liked your legs.

6.) Daydream.
If you're waiting for a day to daydream, you need a new hobby. This song is one of those songs that gets stuck in your head too. you just keep repeating in your head "what a day for a daydream" over and over again in your head until natural woman comes on again.

7.) Takin out the Garbage.
Many of you probably won't know this one cause it's a brothers creeggan song. But let me put it this way, Tom and I took out the garbage and fully banished this song forever. if you are in the mood, find a sample of it online and listen to this trash, it's an eye opener for sure.

8.) Anything that Celine Dion Sings.
"She has the kind of head you call your friends over for to look at. 'Hey grab your beer, check out this head.' and everything changes her life..... 'I stick my finger in my butt, i smell it, it changed my life forever.... How could something so stinky, come from something so beautiful, it's a miracle." Thanks Pablo Fransisco for perfectly describing the hate i have for Celine Dion. If anyone has no clue what i'm talking about, im me and i'll send you an audio clip of this bit. it always makes me laugh.

9.) Well Look at Us Now.
This song was written by someone you might know. Debuted in the Owens Basement somewhere around 1998. I really can't remember the words minus a few lines, but this is how it went. "our love is like a hurricane." i'll give live performances of that line and that line only.

More songs to come later on... post more ideas in the comments, i'd gladly hear out some horrible songs i forgot.

sorry for the long post.


MotherOf3Guys said...

I would have to add the songs "Build me up, Buttercup".... and "Bye, Bye Miss American Pie" to the list of worst songs. I can't stand getting those songs in my head and what's up with "drove my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry"? Agree totally with the choice of Celine Dion songs...not a fan...but I feel like a natural woman!!

neva said...

How about "Tie a yellow ribbon round the ole oak tree?" that's right up there for well as "buttercup" and then there is "I got you babe" Really Jeffers, the list could be ENDLESS.
But that "natural women song" show me the money and maybe I'll like it.

Michal said...

"Love Shack" .....
(Sorry Tom)

Tom said...

Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin Roooooof! ...rusted.

Jersey Girl said...

And how could we forget, was it The Captain (of what?) & Tenile (?sp)...."Muskrat Love". What could they possibly have been thinking? Does anyone know anything about muskrat love?

neva said...

"Got to be there>>>>in the MOOORRIINING..."