Applebees.

Applebee's commercials are so bad. Nothing calls for a MUTE like an applebee's commercial. There are plenty of commercials that i will mute, but applebee's commercials are a MUST. Now most commercials that have jingles are mute-worthy, but there is something so irritating about hearing songs you recognize with lyrics talking about Chicken Fajitas. If you ask my brother Tom, he'll tell you that 800-588-2300 Empire, should in fact be muted. I tend to disagree. This is a great jingle. Another popular muted candidate that i can't turn off, are the Fitness Made Simple commercials. This line of commercials really cracks me up. What the hell is a fitness celebrity? Who the hell is John Basedow? We all know now. Seriously people, take a look at this guy. He now has blonde hair.... not that he looked like a total freak before.







No tricky dance moves, no high impact gyrations. It's fitness made simple, changing real lives.
God i love this commercial.

Things I Don't Like.

....And by things I don't like, i mean, thing i don't like.

I can't stand it when people don't respond to im's. When i send you an im when your away message is up... it means one thing. And one thing alone. "i would like to have a conversation with you." Even if you don't have 5 minutes to answer... it's not hard to say, "can't talk, i'll im you later." or something to that effect. in fact, it took me no less than 5 seconds to type that. You don't even have to wait for me to answer with "alright, catch you later." You could be in your car driving by that time and i won't care. If i've sent you an im, i'll leave it up just to remember what i sent you.... and when you have an im window open, you can see when a person is "no longer idle" or "has returned." And the icing on the cake is when you see that someone has returned, then immediately puts up an away message. To me that means, I was at my computer, saw your message, but you are not important enough to even address. What a fucking blow to the balls.

Now i'm not saying you have to immediately write me back when i send you an im, i know you have an away message. I assume you're not there in the beginning. If i ask you a question in said message, it's most likely not time dependant. If i need to get a hold of you, i'll call you.....


50 times.


Disclaimer: I know that this might sound hypocritical to some of you, especially if you have sent me a message and i haven't responded. This is only due to my internet being retarded at school. this problem should be fixed in the next few days due to a new router i am installing once i get it. But seriously, I believe that i have answered every im that has been sent to me. Go ahead. Try it. I even answer to screen names i have no clue who it is. Oh i'll ask who it is, but i will answer. just cause i'm curious as to what you might have to say. cause i'm cool like that.

In conclusion, if you see an im from me, and you don't answer, you are an asshole.

Schedule.

Everyone wants to know my school schedule. well here it is... enjoy.










Note, i have an online class too... i'm not that much of a bum.

OBB IV.

Just a reminder to all of my friends that are around my age, the OBB IV is coming up this year, and i expect you guys to be there, so bookmark Jerry's Blog and check the countdown and date.

Geico.

When did the gecko become british?

Bowling.

As i we recently reading my aunt's blog about bowling and her love of the game, i was reminded of my love for the game. I have been bowling with family and friends for as long as i can remember. Although the first couple years of being in an all age, family league all i remember is wanting to play arcade games. Minus my first ever game over 100. I remember being so excited about it cause the team we were bowling was very serious about the league with a low handicap. Because i was so young, my average was maybe 50.... on a good day. so when i bowled 100, my handicap kicked in and we destroyed them.

Now that i'm in college i have been in many a leagues. but since i only bowl when i'm in blacksburg, i can never seem to improve much past where i'm at. which i'm fine with. cause i know that i'm gonna have a huge game here. My goal is to make it up on the 250+ banner in the Breakzone. I've been pushing for it since i've been bowling here and the closest i got was a 234. The funny thing about 250 is, you have to string together strikes like it's your job. and when i get 4-6 strikes in a row, it's almost guaranteed that i'll throw a 7-10 split to end the streak. Just ask jon. or steve.

Anyways, i really enjoy bowling down here and i've made a huge number of friends just by being "that crazy guy who dances when he gets a strike." I know all the people who work in the Breakzone and actually have influence on the league and stuff like that. (jon and i are bugging the head guy to push the league from tuesday to wednesday so he can bowl with us.)

Anyways. 250 is the goal. the lanes have been in great condition these past few days due to a new oil machine they picked up over break. that makes me happy and confident i'll be able to achieve my goal this semester.

P.S. there are a lot of blogs i read, anyone who reads this can probably figure out which ones i read due to who comments on here but just so you people dont feel left out cause i only put 1 blog link in this update, here goes.

Mother.
Jerry.
Justin.
Cara.

Couple other Bad Songs.

Rufus Wainwright.
If you like this tool, and we are friends, i will seriously consider not being your friend anymore. This guy being famous is just a failure of america's listening habits. How anyone can stand to listen to this guy is beyond my comprehension. I cannot begin to fathom how ANYONE would WILLFULLY listen to this guy. Some bands don't have good studio albums, but kick ass live. Some bands suck ass live, but had kick ass studio albums*. Rufus Wainwright sounds just as bad live as he does on recordings. Vomit inducing actually. I know this cause i've heard a couple studio songs, and he opened up for Guster once. The only thing worse than rufus wainwright is rufus wainwrights fans. please stop supporting this no talent ass clown.






*Third Eye Blind, John Mayer.

Worst Songs of All Time.

As some of you know (and i'm sure you've had some of your own experiences with this), Wegman's plays a satellite radio station throughout the store to keep the mood light. As this goes with many places. Being a casual customer and only having to hear 1-2 songs over the store loudspeaker system is painless... hell most of you don't even know there's music playing. But when you WORK at a place like that (5 guys, Weggy World), you hear the same songs over and over again. Now this being said, i have no qualms with listening to the same songs over and over if they are decent songs.... i mean, my car has had the same set of cd's in it for like 3 years. (yay K.I.T.). Now if these songs that are played over and over again are the worst songs in history, then it becomes a battle of will not to hurt someone for playing them over and over again. So without further "adoo" the worst songs ever recorded:
(in no particular order)

1.) You Make Me Feel (Like a Natural Woman).
First off, being a man, i can't really comment on having the feeling of a natural woman, but i can assume that feeling like a natural man shouldn't come too hard for me. hell, i feel like a natural man right now... and you aren't even making me feel that way. Aretha Franklin really hit on a winner for this song, cause i'm sure that 95-98% of men want this song to be burned at the proverbial stake. and the other 5-2% want to sing this song cause they want to feel like a natural woman.* (not that there's anything wrong with that.)

2.) Downtown.
Horrible lyrics aside, when you can only hear the girl saying "DOWNTOWN" in the same 2 notes the WHOLE FREAKING SONG, you tend to get annoyed. Plus, everything will NOT be great when you're downtown, cause i hear that a lot of downtowns have violence and drugs and inner city crap. whoever sang this must have been in some downtown in wisconsin something where the only thing they do illegal is cow tipping. (no offense wisconsonians.)

3.) No More I Love You's.
Do I really have to explain this one people. He broke up with you, you're sad, get over it. Go find some other jerk to say to you "i love you." on a side note, he really didn't love you anyways, he just wanted in your pants.

4.) Eternal Flame.
80's songs FTW. i guess i don't have much to say about this one but i do have a question. Is this burning an eternal flame?

5.) What's Love Got to Do With It?
Everything. Shut up whore. Everyone needs a heart. Tina Turner, you're old and i have never liked your legs.

6.) Daydream.
If you're waiting for a day to daydream, you need a new hobby. This song is one of those songs that gets stuck in your head too. you just keep repeating in your head "what a day for a daydream" over and over again in your head until natural woman comes on again.

7.) Takin out the Garbage.
Many of you probably won't know this one cause it's a brothers creeggan song. But let me put it this way, Tom and I took out the garbage and fully banished this song forever. if you are in the mood, find a sample of it online and listen to this trash, it's an eye opener for sure.

8.) Anything that Celine Dion Sings.
"She has the kind of head you call your friends over for to look at. 'Hey grab your beer, check out this head.' and everything changes her life..... 'I stick my finger in my butt, i smell it, it changed my life forever.... How could something so stinky, come from something so beautiful, it's a miracle." Thanks Pablo Fransisco for perfectly describing the hate i have for Celine Dion. If anyone has no clue what i'm talking about, im me and i'll send you an audio clip of this bit. it always makes me laugh.

9.) Well Look at Us Now.
This song was written by someone you might know. Debuted in the Owens Basement somewhere around 1998. I really can't remember the words minus a few lines, but this is how it went. "our love is like a hurricane." i'll give live performances of that line and that line only.

More songs to come later on... post more ideas in the comments, i'd gladly hear out some horrible songs i forgot.


sorry for the long post.

Class Rhymes with Ass.

After finishing my first week of class, i've come to one conclusion:

I should have never been an engineer.

Even though i've only not been a student engineer for about a week, i already dig the classes i'm in. so far i haven't had to use a calculator ONCE. Not to mention actually being interested in what the professor has to say... so much so that i didn't sleep in class ONCE.

I rule.

I like where this semester is going already. It's as if college is more like college now and not like hell. Cause hell sucks. it sucks real bad. kinda like death. Just listen to The Underside of Vomit (How I Became An Ostrich) and you'll know.



...oh you know.

People are dumb.

So yesterday i'm pulling out of a parking lot with my friend jon riding shotgun. There's a light to my left which has built up a lot of cars which are trying to get through the light... I am turning right luckily so i don't have to deal with the traffic trying to go left..... or so i thought.

So after i look to my left for cars coming, i begin to turn right. As i'm turning i look in the direction where i'm going and there happens to be a car IN MY LANE going the wrong direction. So i do what most of us naturally do in this situation, and honk my horn and give them the evil eye. And this woman has the nerve to look pissed at me for honking...

Let's recap, she's in the wrong lane, going the wrong direction to jump in front of maybe 6-7 cars waiting for the same light that she is. And apparently this is my fault for honking at her... This is the kind of SHIT that makes me want to stab people in their jaws.

All it took was for me to think of an awesome comedian to calm my nerves once again... thank you dane cook for having a bit on stupid drivers.

"Even if the accident is clearly not your fault, the guy in the other car ALWAYS gets out his car and looks at you like it is your fault. 'WHY DID YOU STOP AT A LEGAL RED LIGHT AND LET ME HIT YOU DOING 80!?!?'"

thank you dane cook for making me laugh my way out of a fiery rage of fury.

Correction.

It was brought to my attention by one of my co-workers at the World of Weggy, that there is a more popular question by customers.... so i hereby resubmit that "Do you have more eggs?" is now #6, and without further delay...

#5. Do you have Whipping Cream?

Of course the answer is yes.
It is labeled "Heavy Cream".... But most people don't want heavy cream, they want whipping cream. kinda like changing a reservation from 7:45 to quarter til 8 if you know what i'm saying.... don't trust the guy who works in the dairy and gets asked this question day in and day out.





This is of course another question i answer "in my pants baby." to hot ladies.

Tech Baby.

So i'm back at school now. Feel like kicking some school ass. "opening a can" if you will.

My room is a freaking mess.... of course i didn't clean before i left the last time i was here so now i have a double dose of cleaning.... not to mention my bathroom needs a thorough bleach soaking... ugh.

yay cleaning...

Bye Bye Wegmans.

Just wanted to write a quick little post after my last day at the Weggy World for a while.

Top 5 things i got asked while i worked at wegmans:
#5. Do you have more Eggs?
#4. Where is the Sour Cream?
#3. Where is the Velveeta?
#2. Where is the Sliced American Cheese?

and finally,
#1. Where is the bacon?
to which i answer (if it's a hot girl),
"In my pants baby."

Guster.

Dear Guster,
Release your damn album already.

At least post something on your website which you haven't touched since december 1st.

Bueller....Bueller......Bueller.

WoW.

So as of right now, i'm about done with World of Warcraft, maybe a couple of errands to help my brother, but i'm about sick of the game..... again. maybe in a couple months that will change again. I want to do something different with my life other than just work, computer, work, computer. Fun, sure is... meaningful in the long run.... probably not. I've been playing less and less guitar and drums recently, and i think i'm ready to write another song. Dad inspired of course... that man comes up with some great song ideas and i think i'm going to take him up on this one. Anyways, i'm back to school in a couple days and i'm excited. It feels like the first day of freshman year all over again. other than the fact that i'm living in an apartment and I'm single now. oh yeah, for all those that didn't hear, i'm single. yay me. so i'm off to write that hit song that i was talking about... sorry about talking about like 10 things rapid-fire.

Dane Cook Quote i've been saying in my head all day: "Has anyone seen my shoes? I kicked them off in a fit of joy."