Bahston.

I went to Boston on Saturday. It was fantastic. I mean probably one of the best weekends i've had probably since being in vegas. Let me elaborate.

Thursday, 2 days till the show:
Jon, myself and Sean the douchebag drive home and i read The Da Vinci Code in the backseat with my ipod playing Norah Jones and Regan so i don't have to listen to anything Sean has to say. But i was in my own little world for 4 hours on the road reading my book. Once i got home, i directly went to the best place in the world... Chipotle. And it was fantastic. Exquisite. Then i basically watched tv the rest of the night.

Friday, 1 day till the show:
I wake up at around 1:30ish, hit the shower and walk downstairs to an empty house. My parents have gone to WV for Easter weekend. So i call up 15-20 friends for an all out party. We went and got a keg, and got hammered and decided to drive around town for a bit... just kidding people, i sat and watched tv all day. with yet another trip to chipotle because let's face it people, i was only going to be in town the rest of the day so i gotta get my fill while i can. Later on Mike comes by and we make some loud and abusive tunes for an hour or two... who knows. But we hung out and i taught him the Time solo again to refresh his memory. But after my fingers about wanted to fall off from bending strings we head upstairs and watch some tv. He's gotta work at 6:30 tomorrow, and i have to leave for boston at 6 tomorrow. So he heads out and i finally make it to bed. I also tell him to call me at 5:30 cause i need a team of experts to get me outta bed.

Saturday, BOSTON BABY!:
5 freaking 30. i roll outta bed and directly into the shower. This helps me wake up. By the end of the shower, i'm trying to control my excitement, but failing miserably. So i hop out, get dressed and get my things in order. Jon shows up and he is driving the first leg... this is the shock of the century cause jon never volunteers to drive. so i accept. We head straight to 7-11 for munchies and energy drinks. Tall boy amp. greatest creation ever. So we head towards 66 and it's raining. "This is not good," I thought to myself. Then we turn onto 66 and the clouds part and the sun comes out... Traffic parts, and we cruise toward boston with no traffic to slow us down... Lucky break we thought.... then about 2 hours later, still no traffic. 2 hours later... nothing. by this time it's my turn to drive and we're almost outta NJ. So we get breakfast and switch. No traffic. Magically, we make it to boston at 2:30. (By the way, GPS navigation systems make trips to places you've never been almost painless. Brilliant. better creation than tall boy amps.) We check into our hotel and head up to the room. The room is beautiful. 2 double beds, and they have like 4 throw pillows. (the more throw pillows, the better the hotel. trust me, it's the truth.) Jon takes a shower and we head off to get some food and some alcohol before the show at a local sports bar. We get in there at like 4, and get a table... This sports bar rules. A TV at every table. You can even pick what sporting event you wanna watch. awesome. So we sit down and order a celebratory Jager bomb. (not a good idea before dinner by the way.) But we get food, and we get more drinks. We drink until 6:30 and then head to the stadium which was just across the street from the bar.
So for the 1st show we were in the 4th row. we were closer than i thought we would be. These seats were freaking amazing. You might even see us on the hbo special laughing our asses off so hard that we were crying. Seriously. I'm wearing an orange shirt, you can't miss me if they put it in there. Come on HBO editors! Dane put on an incredible show. My face hurt when we left the first show.
So we leave the first show and try to get a drink before the 2nd show. but the bar is full. 1 in, 1 out. same with all the other places near the stadium. so we headed back to the stadium to get into the second show. It takes us forever to get into the stadium again... which is ok cause it started 45 minutes late. It gave us enough time to get some nachos and a coke, cause you have to be 25 or older if you have an out of state ID in the stadium to get beer. shitty rule, but we didn't care too much. So for the second show we were in the balcony, with a pretty decent view of the stage. Jon and i both agree that his second show was better... because by the end, my chest, mouth, jaw, and abs all hurt from laughing at basically the same jokes. He told the same stories, but with minor differences to keep them interesting enough. Plus, they were funny as shit so you can't help but laugh again.

After the show, we file out and go to a bar called "Boston's Greatest Bar." we go here cause we saw a billboard going into the show that said they had 3 bars and 4 floors, so there's no way it's gonna be full. We walk into this place, and let me tell you, it's not boston's greatest bar, i don't konw which one is, but i'm positive this one isn't it. It was blasting loud dance music, and had those lights that dance clubs have, but NO ONE was dancing. granted, there were a lot of girls, but it was loud and there were a lot of boston douchebags running around. so jon and i go up to the top floor and order a drink, but by the time we do that, it's 2 and the bar was closing, so we finished our drinks and decided to head back to the hotel.

We get back to the hotel and go directly to bed... HEAVEN. This bed is the most comfortable bed i've ever slept in. The sheets were 23,567 count sheets, there was a down comforter, and the pillows were heavenly. Jon and i didn't want to go to sleep cause the bed felt so comfortable. i mean it was the weirdest feeling in the world. Have you ever been in bed, but not wanted to go to sleep because the bed was TOO comfortable? i mean seriously folks... crazy.

Sunday, 1 day after the show:
So we get up at 10:00 and decide to enjoy the bed a little more while we watched some ESPN. We stroll outta bed around 10:30 and hit the road. The trip home had a little more traffic than on the way home, but we only stopped the car on the highway once, and that was in NY. And it was only like 3 or 4 minutes. we moved slowly, but we were moving. We make it to NOVA at around 6:30 if i remember correctly to pick up Sean. and once he gets into the car, it's IPOD and book time again. So i read the next 4 hours while he drove us back to the burg. and let me tell you... you know those people on the road that will tailgate someone and flash their lights to get them to move outta their way on the highway? Yeah that's Sean. He's a horrible driver and while i was trying to read in the back, every 3-4 minutes, he'd jerk the wheel during a turn and slightly startle me cause i'm paying attention to my book in my lap. ALL 4 HOURS OF THE TRIP. I mean, i'm not a confretational guy, so i didn't say anything, but i'm never riding with him ever again. i don't care what the circumstances are. I'll drive. Or walk. He is a horrible driver and that was the last time i ever want to see him again.

Well I finished my book on the trip and so i just listened to my ipod the next 20 minutes of the trip until i got into my apartment.

That's my story. I hope you enjoyed it.

I purposely avoided describing the actual show because it'll be an HBO special sometime and you all can see it for yourselves in the future. but if you wanna hear more about it just ask me.

"WHERE'S THE VAN?!?!!?! THE VAN WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HERE!"