Sunday, April 09, 2006

Chipotle and Me.

I like guacamole. no. i don't... i mean... i love guacamole. Anyone who has seen what i eat and what i have eaten in my career as a person knows, that i am usually not too open to suggestions when it comes to my food. granted i've been more "daring" these past 2 or so years. Then came along this little place known as the chipotle.

I didn't even like chipotle the first time i went there... ask cheryl... it's true... i was not all about it. And since that first burrito a lot has changed in my chipotle order. i will now outline my burrito lineage in chronological order.

1st favorite:
Extra Corn
::When i first went there, these were the only toppings that i knew i liked, so that's all i got on it. I tried all the selections of meat they have and i still like the chicken the best. I ate this burrito for a long time until one fateful day::

2nd variation:
::This particular day, i was in one of those "i'm a badass, i'm gonna try something green on my burrito. I'm not scared. Bring on the green." And so i did. "What is this heaven in my mouth?" Seriously, love at first taste. I will never go back. Now that i had tasted the glorious sauce of the heavens, i was feeling cocky about my burrito future::

3rd Variation:
Pinto Beans
::We're getting there. Beans were a good addition. I don't even like beans. never liked the texture. But these beans don't have that unusually hard skin that most beans have that i can't stand. they "melt' into the burrito with flawless consistency::

Final Variation:
Sour Cream
::I still don't know what sour cream tastes like but it's gotta be good cause it makes the burrito a lot better. Now some of you might notice that i put cheese in this burrito but none of the others. On my first staple burrito, the cheese overpowered the corn and the chicken. It doesn't on this burrito... cause each ingredient is like an equal and opposite member of the burrito family. Check Newton's 3rd law... i'll just say it here, no need to google it cause i am not making this up in any shape or fashion. "For every action there is an equal and opposite member of the burrito family that should be inside of a chipotle burrito." seriously... newton was a genius::

Which brings me to my next point. Don't smoke crack.

Sorry i had to... anyways... the reason that i tell you people this is for one reason. My ingenious plan for a new food. Seeing as how i love guacamole and burgers so much... why not mix the two and get a meal fit for kings. The Jeff Owens Guac Burger. Sounds great eh?

I recently went to the Red Robin that had opened up in christiansburg. While looking through the glorious menu i came across the most beautiful two words i've ever seen. "Guacamole Burger." THEY STOLE MY IDEA!!!! and by stole i mean came up with it first while i never recognized it. I odered this burger with no onions cause onions are the devil's favorite snack. it's a fact... just ask him. This was the greatest idea in burgers ever. my suspicion was right on the money. It totally works. I've ordered it every time i've been back. I can't NOT get it. While looking through the menu i saw the same burger but with chicken... i will try that one sometime soon. cause it's sounds delicious. That is all for now class. Anyone near a chipotle that wants to bring me one right now, i'd greatly appreciate it. You have my order.


Tom said...

Guac-Chicken burger at Red Robin is fantastic. You'll like it. Glad to see you've come around to the idea of the super fattening "condiments" like Guacamole and sour cream. They've been contributing to my gut for years. I like to imagine that guacamole is "good fat" since it's green...does that count?

Michal said...

I am a big fan of the chili salsa which makes me cry sometimes..... Not from my eyes.

Grumpy Ump said...

The driveway lights are on and the Tables are set. Dinner is served.

Cara Maria McDonough said...

Justin isn't a big fan of condiments. Especially white ones. So one time, we go to get coffee, and put in our typical bagel order - two bagels toasted. One with cream cheese, for me, the normal person. And one with butter for J, because he doesn't like white condiments. So we get back to our house, and I'm, you know, doing stuff, and go to get my bagel, and realize the only one left is the one with butter, and I'm like, "Hey, did you eat my bagel?" and J is like, "Oh my God. That was yours? I thought that was the one with butter."

So it turns out he loves cream cheese and has eaten it ever since.

Jeff said...

ignorance is bliss eh? that's why when you explain to me what something is BEFORE i eat it, i'm probably not going to eat it.

Cheryl said...

hahaha... I decided after talking to you last night to check out your blog, and since all this talk about Chipotle has been going around, I your blog about Chipotle absolutely funny.

I like your metamophisis of your burrito... Never thought you'd try beans, and guacamole... however in reference to Red Robin... Amy and I will like to agree with Tom in that it is one of the best "burgers" out there... we split it all the time in highschool and thats what i get any time at Red Robin.

And I'm happy you finally came around with the cheese cuz you know me... I LOVE CHEESE!

Anyways, can't wait til Chipotle opens!

Oh and FYI... IHOP burned down today! Craziness eh?!? But I missed it cuz I had to go to work.

Take care, and hope you had fun in Boston!